SUICIDE !!!

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Volunteers offer support by responding to phone calls, emails and letters. Alternatively, you can often drop in to a branch to have a face to face meeting.

Suicide: Jude's story

Jude's Story

"I honestly felt that my life was pointless. I'd convinced myself that it was. Whether you call it depression, I don't know, but I was without a doubt in my head that the only thing to do was die. The day itself, when I threw myself from a cliff, was the happiest day I'd had in years because my stupid little life was about to end. 2003, I'd written four novels, four plays and 40-odd poems and had got nowhere and I gave up. It was from that moment on where I thought, "I've failed again in my life." "All the things that I've tried to do, I've failed." I did become far too insular, far too introspective and I caved in upon myself. In the morning I did things as normal because I didn't want anyone worrying. I had breakfast as normal, left a note on the pillow, took the bus to Rottingdean, had three or four pints, walked back along the cliff, sat on a bench, drank a bottle of wine, thought about my life, watched a most spectacular sunset, because it was a beautiful day, and at dusk I climbed over the fence, had a miniature of whisky, my last cigarette and... dived. I wasn't supposed to survive. Everything was shattered. I woke up in hospital two and a half months later and thought, "I'm so useless. I can't even kill myself properly. That is failure." That period in hospital and the rehabbing at my parents' are without doubt the worst period of my whole life. Suicide causes devastation. Bewilderment and guilt is what you leave behind as a suicide, and that's a terrible legacy, it is the biggest mistake you will ever make, and suicide being what it is, it's a mistake you only get to make once. The first thing to do is realise that suicide is not an option. It will be a huge mistake. The second thing to do is talk. If you've got friends to talk to, that's terrific, but if not there are places you can walk into and say, "Help me," and they will. They want to be bothered, that's what they're there for. I didn't feel that I was in any way important enough to bother and burden people with my problems, so I didn't tell anybody. I promised everybody that I'd never be that stupid again, and that was the starting point. As soon as suicide was no longer an option, because I'd hurt too many people, I had no choice, I had to just carry on and do each day. And that's what I've been doing since and it's gone ever so well."

Samaritans Helpline
08457 90 90 90

What does Samaritans do?

Samaritans volunteers listen in confidence to anyone in any type of emotional distress, without judging or telling people what to do.

Samaritans doesn’t offer advice, but by encouraging people who contact us to talk about their feelings we are able to help them explore all the options they have. Samaritans believes that given the time and space to work problems or difficulties through in confidence, people can find an inner strength and perspective which lets them find their own way forward. More details

Poem by my wife
 Mandy Wright 

New Beginning

"when life seems an uphill struggle and all the options you've tried are declined, 

the dark cloud above stays firmly put , there's only one answer on your mind.

No point in living you think, death seems an eternally peaceful sleep.

You write goodbye to all you love,
 and please don't sit and weep.

No it's not the answer there's lots of

 fantastic help out there, GP's, counseling,
 and the Samaritans.

You're problems they let you bare.

Ending it's just too final life's a precious gift,

 oh yes it's full of ups and downs, 

like a busy tower block lift.

So remember, remember, remember 
there's people

 out there who will help  and listen.

And that cloud above wont stay black.

Like a precious jewel it will glisten! "